Bolt Thrower - In Battle There Is No Law (1988)

For those of you who haven't heard of Bolt Thrower, they are a 5 piece Death Metal/Grindcore band from Coventry, England who formed in 1986. They consist of Karl Willetts (Vocals), Barry Thompson (Guitar), Gavin Ward (Guitar), Jo-Anne Bench (Bass), and Martin "Kiddie" Kearns (Drums). They originally got their name from a weapon used in the tabletop strategy game of Warhammer Fantasy Battle. They are currently signed to Metal Blade Records.

In Battle There Is No Law is Bolt Thrower's first album, which was preceded by 4 demo albums and 1 EP. The album consists of 9 tracks which include "In Battle There Is No Law", "Challenge for Power", "Forgotten Existence", "Denial of Destiny", "Blind to Defeat", "Concession of Pain", "Attack in the Aftermath", "Psychological Warfare", and "Nuclear Annihilation". The album was recorded with most of their current line-up, except instead of Martin Kearns, they had Andrew Whale on the drums. The album overall is quite different from other Grindcore albums around this time (mainly, Napalm Death's album Scum), in that while Napalm Death was (and still is) fast paced and constantly spitting out the vocals at you, Bolt Thrower takes a slower approach to their tracks. They start slow and then progressively speed up (this is more evident on their later albums, mainly 1992's album "The IVth Crusade"). I'm still surprised that this album was released in 1988, as Karl sounds more and more like the modern day Death Metal bands, his growl is low and purposeful (if a growl can be that). The guitars on the album mix so well together as well. The drums were really loud (mainly the bass drum) but they didn't overpower the mix. The bass is extremely well done, and (little bit of a fact here) Jo-Anne Bench is one of the first female Death Metal musicians (not a screamer, but still a part of the Death Metal scene). The album just kicked ass.

Overall, an extremely well done first album in a time when the genre was first emerging. If you're into Napalm Death, Obituary, Unleashed, Benediction, Dismember, Grave, or Hail of Bullets, you should check out Bolt Thrower. The album was released on June 12, 1988 and is available on amazon (although not currently available) and iTunes.

Overall Rating: 4.4 out of 5.0

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Bolt Thrower's Website

iwrestledabearonce - It's All Happening (2009)

iwrestledabearonce (yes, it's all lowercase), is a 5 piece Grindcore/Metalcore/Jazz/Disco/Electronica/Swing/Avant-Garde Metal band from Shreveport, Louisiana. They formed in 2007 and consist of Krysta Cameron (Vocals), Steven Bradley (Guitar, Programming, Keys & Sampling), John Ganey (Guitar, Programming, Keys & Sampling), Mike "Rickshaw" Martin (Bass), and Mikey Montgomery (Drums & Backup Vocals). They are currently signed to Century Media.

It's All Happening, iwrestledabearonce's debut full-length album reached #1 on the U.S. Billboard Top Heatseekers, and #122 on the U.S. Billboard 200. It has 11 tracks which consist of "You Ain't No Family", "White Water in the Morning", "Danger in the Manger", "I'm Cold and There Are Wolves After Me", "Tastes Like Kevin Bacon", "The Cat's Pajamas", "Pazuzu For the Win", "Black-Eyed Bush", "Eli Cash Vs. the Godless Savages", "See You in Shell", and "Danger in the Manger (Jimmy Urine Mix)" which is the bonus track. The album itself was decent, but not all that good. Not going to lie though, I was impressed that a girl could do the screams like Krysta does, and she changes between that and a soothing clean vocal. The artistry of the guitar was well done, there were extremely complex parts and well played riffs. The drums were intense, and would tend to go to blast beats more often than anything else. Bass was really hard to hear, and at points, I thought they didn't even have a bass player. That being said, the keys, programming, and sampling done just didn't fit, neither did the genre changes. They'd be in the middle of screaming and all brutal, and then it'd go to Jazz, it just didn't sound good on the ears.

Overall, the album was decent, theorettically, it'd be a great album, and when you listen to each instrument individually, it is, it's when you put them all together with the constantly changing genre's that it just turns into chaos and doesn't work. If you're into Winds of Plague, August Burns Red, Blessthefall, The Human Abstract, Fact, Greeley Estates, Sea of Treachery, Enter Shikari, All Shall Perish, Vanna, The Dillinger Escape Plan, or HORSE the Band, then you should check them out. Or, as I've said in a previous article, if you hate them, listen to Preschool Tea Party Massacre, and then you should be able to at least stand them. The album was released June 2, 2009 and is available on amazon and iTunes.

Overall Rating: 3.9 out of 5.0

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iwrestledabearonce's Website

Napalm Death - Scum (1987)

Napalm Death, for those of you who haven't listened to them before, is a four piece Grindcore band from Birmingham, England. They formed in 1981 and are considered to be the creators of Grindcore by mixing Crust Punk with Death Metal. They are currently signed to Century Media and consist of Mark "Barney" Greenway (Vocals), Mitch Harris (Guitar & Backing Vocals), Shane Embury (Bass), and Danny Herrera (Drums).

Napalm Death's 1987 album Scum was the first full length release for the band after seven demo tapes. The original founders of the band had all left the band before this release and the lineup on the album consisted of Nik Bullen (Vocals & Bass for tracks 1-12), Justin Broadrick (Guitar for tracks 1-12), Lee Dorian (Vocals for tracks 13-28), Bill Steer (Guitar for tracks 13-28), Jim Whitley (Bass for tracks 13-28), and Mick Harris (Drums). The album consists of 28 tracks that include "Multinational Corporations", "Instinct of Survival", "The Kill", "Scum", "Caught in a Dream", "Polluted Minds", "Sacrificed", "Siege of Power", "Control", "Born on Your Knees", "Human Garbage", "You Suffer" (the current Guiness Book of World Records holder for shortest song ever recorded, at 1.316 seconds), "Life?", "Prison Without Walls", "Point of No Return", "Negative Approach", "Success?", "Deceiver", "C.S. (Conservative Shithead)", "Parasites", "Pseudo Youth", "Divine Death", "As the Machine Rolls On", "Common Enemy", "Moral Crusade", "Stigmatized", "M.A.D.", "Dragnet". When I first listened to this album, it didn't really go over so well with me. I was accustomed to the typical Barney Greenway vocals of Napalm Death and not the Nik Bullen and Lee Dorian vocals, which is why I was thrown off at first. The album is hard hitting and grows on you. Lots of blast beats and fast paced tempos, which slowed down at odd points throughout the songs. The album almost takes on a different feel after "You Suffer", mainly cause of the different lineup. Nik Bullen's vocals on the album are more of him just shouting as fast as he can, where as Lee Dorian's vocals on it are more growl like and fast paced.

Overall, the album was okay the second time around. It takes a few times listening through to fully get the feel of the album. If you're a fan of Death, Obituary, Carcass, or Grindcore in general, you should have the album in your collection. It's well done for their first release. The album was released on May 6, 1987, and you can get the album on itunes and amazon.

Overall Rating: 4.1 out of 5

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Napalm Death's Website

Ed Gein - It's a Shame that a Family Can be Torn Apart by Something as Simple as a Pack of Wild Dogs (2003)

Ed Gein is a three piece Grindcore group from Syracuse, New York. They formed in 2002. have released 2 full length albums, and consist of Graham Reynolds (Guitar & Vocals), Aaron Jenkins (Bass & Vocals), and Jesse Daino (Drums & Vocals). Their current label is Black Marked Activities which has their album "Judas Goats and Dieseleaters" and their single "Robert Flaig" on it. The album that I'm going to be reviewing was released through their old label Hex Records. And now for the review.

The album consists of eight tracks with a hidden bonus track at the end of the eigth. The tracks are "You Suck at Life...and I'm Not Talking About The Board Game", "The Marlboro Man is a Douche Bag", "A Way to Kill Old People", "Nice Shoes...Wanna Fuck?", "I Wish You The Best...", "...and by Best I Mean Worst.", "Beating a Dead Horse", and "What is This Monstrosity?!". At the end of "What is This Monstrosity?!" there is a cover of Nirvana's song "Very Ape". The album itself was really fast paced throughout it's entirety. The band just kept going at 110% of their capabilities throughout it all, wether it was the drumming, bass, or the guitar work, it was just going at full speed. The screaming though, sounded a bit like Every Time I Die. Now I'm somewhat of a fan of Every Time I Die, but only in small doses. The same with the screaming with Ed Gein, it got kind of annoying at times. And like with some of the other albums I've reviews, the album has a bunch of sound bytes from other movies, tv shows, or just random things in general. Luckily, they put them in appropriate places (unlike the PTPM album I reviewed), and it works with the album.

Overall, the album was a good production instrument wise, just could have done better with the screaming. If you're a fan of Every Time I Die, Beneath The Sky, All That Remains, The Black Dahlia Murder (earlier works though), or just Grindcore in general, I'd recommend it, but I'm not giving it my full backing. If you're interested in picking up the album, it was released on June 2, 2003, and you can get it on itunes and on amazon.

Overall Rating: 3.9 out of 5

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Ed Gein's Website

The Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza - Danza II: The Electric Boogallo (2007)

Figure I'll give this band a different introduction than the other ones. The Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza is currently a 3 piece Experimental Metal/Grindcore band from Murfreesboro, Tennessee. They formed in 2004 and have released 3 albums, two of which are on their current label "Black Marked Activites" (the albums being 2007's Danza II: The Electric Boogallo, and 2010's Danza III: The Series of Unfortunate Events) and one was on their old label "Corrosive Recordings" (the album being their self-titled release in 2005). The band consists of Jessie Freeland (Vocals), Josh Travis (Guitar and Bass), and Mike Bradley (Drums). And now we shall pass from this segment into the review portion.

The Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza's second full-length album "Danza II: The Electric Boogallo" consists of 13 tracks. Those tracks include "T.R.O.U.B.L.E.", "You Gonna Buy The Beers Or The Whole Damn Bar", "I Don't Mean To Impose, But I Am The Ocean", "Go Greyhound", "Top English", "The Electric Boogaloo", "Crunchy Black Did Me In At Midnight Madness", "Mad Max Beyond Superdome", "Carroll 14 Wossman 7", "Nobody Eats BBQ Two Days In A Row", "Shot Of Whiskey", "Rollin' And Tumblin' On Satan's Rotisserie", and "The Louisiana Dive Bar Massacre". The album consists of 4 tracks that are either the intro track (T.R.O.U.B.L.E.), an outro track (The Louisiana Dive Bar Massacre), or just a short skit (both Top English and Shot of Whiskey). Those four tracks somehow manage to hold the album together and almost tell the story of a man walking into a bar trying to mind his own business (T.R.O.U.B.L.E.). That man then goes to play pool, says that the ball isn't getting enough spin and that it's English (Top English). Later the man sits down at the bar and keeps trying to order a shot of whiskey before grabbing the bartender and the bouncers and beating the living hell out of them (Shot of Whiskey). Then finally he gets a chainsaw, kills everybody in the joint and then cracks open a beer, drinks it, and walks out (The Louisiana Dive Bar Massacre). The songs that aren't skits are unique in their own ways. On a whole, Jessie Freeland's screams sound like the earlier works that Matt Heafy did with Trivium (where it was mostly screams). The guitar work is fast and brutal, and I couldn't really find any negatives with the album, I especially enjoyed the last track (The Louisiana Dive Bar Massacre) because after the skit in the beginning, there's a sort of acoustic/blues jam at the end which oddly enough fit with the album.

Overall, this album was kick ass from start to end. If you're looking to pick up the album, it was released October 16, 2007, you can get it on amazon and on itunes. Definitely pick this up if you're into Trivium, Machine Head, (just because I forgot to in the last two reviews) SLAYER!!!, if you're into Grindcore or the whole Experimental Metal genre, hell, pick this up even if you're a fan of Tony Danza. Why? Cause who's the boss? TONY DANZA'S THE BOSS BITCH!

Overall Rating: 4.6 out of 5

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The Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza's Website

Chelsea Grin - Desolation of Eden (2010)

For anyone who hasn't heard of Chelsea Grin, they are a 5 piece Grindcore/Deathcore band from Salt Lake City, Utah that formed in 2007. They consist of Alex (Vocals), Chris (Guitar), Mike (Guitar), Austin (Bass), and Andrew (Drums). They are currently signed to Statik Factory Records. And now for the review.

Chelsea Grin's first full-length "Desolation of Eden" consists of 11 tracks. The album starts off with "Judgement", "Desolation of Eden", "False Sense of Sanity", "Sonnet of the Wretched", "Cheyne Stokes", "The Human Condition", "Elysium", "Recreant", "Cast from Perfection", "Revenant", and "Wasteland". The album starts off with a brief roll of a crash cymbal only to have all the instruments kick in at once with almost a breakdown riff to start things off. This goes on for about 30-40 seconds and then a high pitched shriek comes in and makes it all fit together. As the track fades into the next track, you hear, what I can best describe as the drum intro to Ozzy Osbourne's "Over the Mountain" only played slower, but with more bass drum. Right after the quick drum solo, it changes up from the first track, and instead of a slow paced breakdown, it is filled with high speed guitar riffs and blast beats. The vocal stylings on the album only vary between three to four distinct tones that Alex (the singer) hits. There's the high pitched Suicide Silence type of scream, the low growl almost sounding like Whitechapel, the hardly distinguishible inhale vocals sounding similar to either Here Comes the Kraken or even Job for a Cowboy, and finally, the layered vocals, which just sound brutal as hell. I couldn't find anything I didn't like in the album, but was moderately surprised by the track "Elysium", mainly because it was an instrumental track. I wonder if this is starting to become a trend now a days with Death Metal in general (as the Annotations of an Autopsy album I reviewed earlier also had an instrumental track).

Overall, the album, as I described to a friend of mine, and I quote "it's like Suicide Silence, Whitechapel, and Job for a Cowboy had a baby, named it Steve, gave it a razor to play with, and it gave itself a glasgow smile, so brutal as fuck basically". Definitely pick this up if you're a fan of the aforementioned bands, The Black Dahlia Murder, or Deathcore in general. If you're looking to pick up the album, it was released on February 16, 2010, so it's out now on amazon and itunes.

Overall Rating: 4.1 out of 5

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Chelsea Grin's Website

Preschool Tea Party Massacre - Hardcore Died with Hitler (2006)

For those of you who haven't heard of PTPM (which I'm guessing is a large chunk of you), they are a nine piece Grindcore band (yes, nine), that formed in 2002 in Newark, New Jersey. According to their myspace page, they consist of Supreme Allah (Vocals), Concubine (Drum Programming, Effects), Easy Money (Vocals, Guitar, Drum Programming), Don Carnage (Over the Top Cookie Monster Vocals), DJ RUFFneck (Vocals), Stumpy (Weird Noises, Laughing, Fights Fires), The Edge (Vocals), Shan Bone (Will Contribute Soon), and Joey Wallz (All instruments). They are currently signed to no label, and all of their cd's are self produced. And now onto the review.

Preschool Tea Party Massacre's fifth album release, entitled "Hardcore Died with Hitler" consits of 26 (yes, twenty six) tracks. The tracks in order are "Caveman Dildo", "Fuck Her and Kill Her But Not in That Order", "Charles Lindbergh was a Fuck Machine", "Say Cheese and Get Raped", "Pope-Mobile Drive By", "Sand Burial Fuckfest", "No Viewing Octopus Porno on Company Time", "I Swerved to Miss a Cat and Hit 36 Kids", "Climbing The Ladder of Exhibitionism At The Old Folks Home", "Dead Baby Eaten by Dogs", "Doggie Style Cyber Sex With Marilyn Monrobot", "Best Things In Life Are Free, Then Why Did I Pay To Get AIDS", "Beaten With Your Own Cowboy Boots", "Malibu Is For Gay Guidos and Women", "I Don't Just Develop Film, I Develop Families", "Black Girlfriend Killed Grandma", "Sausage King Shooting Spree", "The Story of the Lonely Giraffe Who Fucked a Tree, a Fence, and a Shed", "Breastfeeding A Boozed Whore", "If You Got The HIV. Holla At Us (Cause We Never Rock Jimmy Hats)", "It Fucking Hurts When I Piss", "Since When Is Caging a Child Illegal", "Of Course I'm Not a Real Person. I'm a Big Piece of Poop", "Managing To Fuck A 16-Year-Old", "You Would Rise To The Occasion In A Room Full of Guys", and "Cape + Mask + Gun = Neighborhood Shooting Rampage". Oh so many ways to describe this album, I'm going to start with the easiest one, no wonder it was self-produced, it's hard to listen to. I'm not joking, this is one of the few albums that I forced myself to listen to. The guitar was soooooooooo very simplistic that I got tired of the repetition. The drumming just got annoying after a while. It was quite literally just the snare drum for a good half of the album, it sounded worse than Metallica's Saint Anger album (and I had a really hard time getting through that one). There was hardly any "singing" on the album at all. It was unintelligible growls, high pitched black metalesque screams, and then randomly throughout the album was a guy acting all gangster. There was also the annoyance of the random techno aspect throughout most of the songs. The last track on the album, "Cape + Mask + Gun = Neighborhood Shooting Rampage" is 13:36 long, it should only be 3:00 long. Why you might ask, mainly because the first 10:30 of the song is nothing, quite literally nothing, just dead air, and then it's just a random conversation between two people while a keyboard plays quietly in the background. That's not even the worst part of it. The album is riddled with soundbytes and clips from movies. All of the tracks have them, some even have multpile ones.

Overall, I wouldn't recommend this album to anyone. The only way I'd recommend this is if you hate iwrestledabearonce, and I'd only recommend this if you wanted to start to like iwrestledabearonce. The only thing I liked about the album were three of the soundbytes and nothing else.

Overall score: 0.8 out of 5

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Preschool Tea Party Massacre's Website